Thursday, May 15, 2014

Worst week ever!

I have got to say that was the worst week ever.  I've been just worn out every single night.  Too tired to write, too tired to read, too tired to blog; I was even too tired to go to bed.

The worst part is I don't even have a physical job.  I'd feel less lame if I dug ditches or fixed cars or something.  I have a job where I sit and think all day, and that just absolutely wears me out sometimes.  Worse yet is the past week or two everything that can go wrong absolutely has.  I've been working for about 14 days straight, and it just wore me out.

Yes, I know people do this all the time and never complain.  What can I say?  I'm a whiner.  Always have been.

My plan is to start writing on Switch again this weekend (since tomorrow is full of obligations) and get back up on the horse of blogging and writing and whatnot.  The end is near, it should be over by now, and hopefully I can get back to a semblance of normalcy.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

So Tired...

It's 7:45 and I'm totally worn out.  Beat.  Exhausted.  Sorry for the continued lack of anything, but I got nothing else to give.  I'm just completely worn out and beat. The only reason I haven't gone to bed yet is that nobody else in the house has, and I don't want to look lame...

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Swamped!

No posting lately because I'm totally swamped at work.  Completely underwater.  Haven't written or blogged or really done anything that's not work-related for a couple of days, and today and tomorrow don't promise to be any better.

Friday, May 2, 2014

DIet Results

My starvation diet for Switch is bearing results.  I've cut it by about 10%, I think without sacrificing any of the story arc.  I found that some scenes were really repeated, or they were essentially versions of other scenes.  I didn't really need to hammer it home that finely, so I cut the one that felt tacked-on. 

I'm a little concerned that the story won't flow when I get it all done, as I'd used some exposition to break up some action, but it should work.  I'm happy to have tightened it up, at any rate.  There's more to cut, too.  I think if I go back to the front end I could probably do some work in the first five or ten chapters to cut those down.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

My Self-Healing Hot Tub

Where we live, it's bitter cold most of the year.  A month and a half ago, though, we had a day that was almost warm enough not to freeze to death outside, and my wife suddenly says to me "when are you going to get the hot tub cleaned up and back in service?"

Like a dutiful husband, I understood exactly what she meant: "it's time for you to clean up the hot tub and put it back in service."  Which is what I did, exactly two weeks and 28 reminders later that it was "hot tub season" according to her.

Unfortunately, the jets didn't work.  She was extremely bummed not to be able to use the hot tub, and I was bummed that she wouldn't be running around in a bikini, which is pretty much my only interest in the hot tub.  That was about two weeks ago.

Tonight, for reasons unknown to me, a cosmic force compelled me to go treat the water today.  I turned on the jets out of habit, and they came on!  Suddenly the jets work!  The hot tub is alive!

That means that rewriting is done for the evening.  It's time to go hot tubbing.  Because all work and no play makes Colin a very dull boy.

Update:  I don't know where she found that frogman suit that she wore, but needless to say, I was not a fan.  Perhaps next time...

Just where I thought!

I always figured that the last quarter of Switch was ripe for reduction.  Now that I'm in the back half, I find that I was correct.  I just rewrote a fifteen-page chapter, and ended up cutting it to six pages.  Took out a minor character, an unimportant sub-plot, another plot point I didn't really do anything with, and tightened it up to flow much better.  Unfortunately, it's a stub chapter now and is bizarrely shorter than the others.

So I can either combine it with a later (or earlier) chapter, or I can leave it alone, or I can chop up some of the other chapters.  Frankly, I wonder if chopping up other chapters isn't the answer, since I always wonder where to do chapter breaks.

I always do it by feel - if it feels like a break, then I do.  Some chapters will cover multiple days, while others just one continuous scene.  I always wonder if I have a good feel for it or not.

Writing is exhausting

For me it is, at least.  I have a day job, and it's no cakewalk, but it's not too bad.  It's not physical, either, but rather mostly mental.  I'm capable of dealing with it, and then coming home and dealing with my family, and then going to bed.  No big deal.

When I throw writing in there, though, I start going to bed exhausted.  The constant mental focus on what word goes where, and what each character says and how they say it, and the on-point mentality needed to examine every turn of phrase and every punctuation point starts to wear me out. 

Last night I was totally wiped out and slept like a log, even snoring enough that it disturbed my poor, long-suffering wife. 

I guess I could down a whole bunch of energy drinks, but then the characters would start racing around and acting like hyper two-year-olds.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Hacking and Cutting

I'm about 2/3 of the way through my rewrite on Switch, and so far I've managed to cut about 10,000 words.  Which is not a lot.  But I'm into the section of the story where I knew there was some fat, because as I wrote it, I felt like I was padding here.  So I'm hopeful that there are another 10,000 words remaining.  Unfortunately, that's about a third of what's there, so I find it unlikely that I'll be missing anything.

I've already cut whole characters and scenes to tighten up the story. If I want to cut more out, I'll probably have to excise some plot threads.  It's not easy.  Writing is rewriting, though, and if I want a good story on the other side this is what I have to do.

It's unpleasant, though.  Now I really know why it's called "killing your babies."

Sunday, April 27, 2014

What makes an author?

Let the great war of publishing begin!

The sides in this fight are fairly predictable.  On the one side, we have professional writers manning the walls of the gatekeepers.  On the other side, we have the rampaging barbarian hordes who wish to access the treasures within.

This is fairly predictable, and parallels any of a number of other technological disruptions from the past.  It's also going to be similarly experienced when 3D printing comes of age and we hear the same arguments around manufacturing and construction.

Kozlowski specifically mentions science, which is a bad analogy.  The practice of "professional" science is a fairly new thing and historically you have numerous stories of amateurs who upended the prevailing theories or made discoveries.  These people weren't credentialed or accepted by others, and often faced massive amounts of resistance, yet they were ultimately correct.  They weren't any less correct because they didn't have the support of "professionals."

The most famous, perhaps, is Copernicus, who went against the professionals of his day with a heliocentric universe.  But you have plenty of others, including some recent Nobel-prize winners in economics (Daniel Kahneman in '02 and Robert Aumann in '05) who weren't economists.  The whole history of Renaissance polymaths is all about people doing things outside their field.

Always throughout history the credentialed and licensed have sought to prevent others from practicing in their field.  Sometimes, society has permitted this because bitter experience has proven that we must (medicine, military, foreign affairs). 

Otherwise the prevailing social impulse should always lean towards the most inclusive set of conditions possible.  It is true that much of what gets produced will be dreck in this model; however, we must acknowledge that professionals can create dreck, too.

To borrow from economics, we should allow the market (whether it be readers or clothes shoppers or car buyers) to decide what, ultimately, is worth paying for and what has no value, and then the market will align itself accordingly.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Flash Fiction

A few brief thoughts on flash fiction, mostly because I'm dodging working on Switch so that I can avoid having to make hard choices and cut my beloved story down.

I was introduced to Flash Fiction a few years ago, and when I first heard about it I got all excited because it felt like a great way to crank out stuff in short time, and if there was a market for it you could therefore just pump out a tremendous amount of work with no effort.  I gave it a shot.

I am an epic failure at Flash Fiction.  Turns out I can't say anything in less than about a thousand words (as this post so adequately demonstrates), and I have no skill to develop a complete story that's not nonsense that fits into 500 words or less. 

This is also why my Twitter feed is all post repeats - 140 characters is right out for me.  I admire anybody who can be coherent in either format.  I can only do things in long-form essays or fiction, which is why Switch needs to be cut down.  I have a tendency to overdevelop!

Yes, it does not escape me that I am discussing how bad I am at Flash Fiction in a post that is almost as long as a typical flash fiction story.  Irony is one of my strong suits.

Friday, April 25, 2014

My bad habits

The editor really helped me see some bad habits in my writing, which is great.  Now I have to slog through Switch and undo them all.

Bad Habit #1:  Starting on a preposition conjunction.  So I like to start sentences with conjunctions.  But it's not like I do it for every sentence.  And I think sometimes it gives the sentence a certain flair. Of course you have to be careful not to make it a habit.  Unfortunately, I have.
(Update: yeah, I know those are conjunctions and not prepositions.  What can I say?  It was late and I was tired and confused and forgot the words to Conjunction Junction.)

Bad Habit #2:  Towards not using really anymore.  I always say Towards, instead of Toward.  To remove that, I'm just taking the word out when I run across it.  I use really all the time, because I really like the word really, as it as a really good sense to phrases.  Apparently I also am terrible at using anymore properly, and usually write any more.

Bad Habit #3:  Lay vs lie vs laid vs lied.  Ah, forget it.  I'm just going to have everyone and everything stand up.

Bad Habit #4:  The great POV switch issue.  I do really good at not confusing POV in the main body of the story, but I stick in all these authorial asides that are in the wrong POV (usually second person).  That needs fixed, because it's really distracting.  Typically the fix is to cut it out.

Bad Habit #5:  Too many parenthetical phrases (like this one) and way too many colons: they're distracting.  But I love colons!  Almost as much as I like starting sentences on prepositions.  I'm not so sloppy that any characters talk in parenthesis - that would be too much - but I do stick them in exposition an awful lot. 

There's a multitude of other, smaller, less frequent things, but I've seen a giant surplus of those issues in the first seven chapters of the story.  And I never noticed them before!

See, kids, this is why we edit.

Rewriting Insanity

I'm failing miserably at rewriting Switch to make it shorter and more focused.  I had this feverish idea last night while I slept, though: instead of making it shorter, why don't I make it longer?  I could write another 300,000 words, and then split it up into a trilogy!  Trilogies are hot, right?  Everybody loves trilogies!

It's the stupidest idea ever.  I know.  This is what happens when you rewrite.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Argh! New Word!

I hate the new Word.  A lot.

I originally wrote Switch in the old Word, but I've upgraded my computer between then and now, so I'm rewriting it on the new Word.  What should I see but suddenly that I have a mix of straight quote marks and "smart quotes," which are basically designed to slant to the left or right, depending on their orientation and how difficult it will be to eradicate them and make them correct.

I wanted to get rid of them, but I couldn't figure out how.  Perhaps you're all smart enough to know that it's under File, Options, Proofing, Autocorrect, but that totally escaped me.  I punched F1, which should be help, but of course I got the Microsoft Help system, not the Word Help system, which I had to go find under the main header again.

Meaning that the entire system is now less useful than it was before, not more useful.  I'm not going to lie - some of this is just that I hate change.  A lot more of it is that these wonks who keep changing everything obviously have never used the products they're trying to jam down our throats!

Okay, I'm done ranting about this now.  Back to the rewrite.  I need to cut 20% of the story, and now that I'm through about 1/5th of it, I've cut...about 3%.  Ugh.  I'm going to need to get a bigger scalpel.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Unkindest Cut

I've gone through the first pass of editing now, taking out over-used words and inserting stuff and taking care of the easy, grammatical, CTRL-H stuff that you can do by rote.  There was a lot of it, but it's all cleaned up.  Now we get to the hard part of rewriting: cutting.

Not a little, either.  A lot, if I want to get it into the right word range, like maybe 20% of it.  That's not such an easy thing to do.  I need to do that without compromising the story, either, and without throwing the baby out with the bathwater.  I can definitely see the need for it, thought, so now it's just a matter of finding which parts are fat enough that they can be taken out without jeopardizing the story.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

I got my picture!

Notice anything different?  Huh?  Huh?  I finally got my picture!  I'm a happy man, too!  Now, it is true that I'm not a cartoon - although many would call me two-dimensional - but it's a fairly good representation.

The hat shown was free, and I got it on a trip to Egypt when it was 8,000,000 F and I was at the Great Pyramid.  Lots of fun.

Boo-yah!

Monday, April 21, 2014

Back to work

Switch just came back from the editor.  And boy, do I have a lot of work to do! 

I'm not at all surprised - I didn't send it to be edited because it was perfect, after all - so now I got to go through the joy of rewriting it for a final time.  Unfortunately it needs to shrink.  I'm not surprised that it needs to shrink, but that'll require significant rewriting, and killing of babies and whatnot. 

It's not the end of the world, though.  I can definitely rewrite it, and it will be better when I'm done than when I started.  That's why we edit!

I do wish I could edit it with a potato cannon, though!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

All Work and No Play

Would make Colin a dull boy.  I've been working a lot on writing the last few weeks - finishing Gob Squad and outlining and other stuff.  And while I wouldn't say I've been neglecting my familial obligations, it's for sure that we've not been doing as much stuff together as normal.  But this is Easter Weekend (happy Easter, by the way), and I was determined to do something fun.  So I asked myself: what would that be?

POTATO CANNON!

Have you ever seen one of these things?  I had.  And after a quick search on the internet, I was ready to build one.  I love working in PVC anyways - it's my favorite medium after words - and I knew exactly where to get everything in the hardware store necessary to slap this together.  Once I told my son the name of the project, I had a ready and engaged assistant to get this thing put together.

Let me tell you this: firing one of these is a blast.  A whiff of hairspray, a pop from the igniter, and you get to see a spud spiraling majestically over the horizon.

I also discovered that I'm allergic to raw potatoes.  I actually knew this, but I forgot it right up until my eyes swelled up and started itching after loading and firing a few spuds.  Argh!  It was horrible.  I had to take a Benadryl, which knocked me out for the rest of the day.  But it was totally worth it!  And so fun that we went out shooting it both Saturday and today, along with a fireworks show just for good measure.

On the way to our adventure, I happened to be just shooting the breeze with the children, and then all of a sudden I came up with a story idea, too.  So a fun adventure and some work, too.  Boo-yah! 

It's important to mix stuff like this together in your life - you can't just sit and try to write and imagine you'll be able to come up with anything interesting to read.  You gotta go live a little.

Fanboy Ahead

I am the biggest Godzilla fan ever.  I love Godzilla.  He's the bomb.  I'm such a Godzilla fan boy I have the Blue Oyster Cult song as my ring tone, and Godzilla's roar as my text tone.  I don't have any tattoos, but if I did, it would totally be Godzilla holding a train:



Having said all that, I'm terrified of the upcoming Godzilla movie.  The most disappointing moment of my life remains the dreadful 1998 Roland Emmerich movie (the one with Matthew Broderick).  I'd been working for 28 days straight on night shift, and when I finally got a day off, my wife said "what do you want to do?"  "I want to go see Godzilla!" I said.  Boy, was that a bad call.  That has to be the worst Godzilla movie I've ever seen, and I've seen every rubber-suited entry in the genre.

This one looks good, though.  Really good.  Back to the roots of Godzilla as an engine of pure destruction, a colossal force that barely notices that it destroyed you, a scale of power unimaginably beyond your fathoming.  Godzilla notices you like you notice ants: if it happens, something bad is about to occur.

We'll see, though.  I just hope I don't walk away disappointed again.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Twitter: it does a blogger good

Okay, so Twitter (which scared me) is amazing.  And I feel guilty about it, too, like I'm not even really trying.  I hooked up a Twitter account, and then through the magic of IFTTT (which seems like it outta be illegal) I synced Twitter up with my blog.  So all I do is just Tweet out every blog post. 

And yet, inexplicably, I've picked up followers.  Which is quite humbling, and which I very much appreciate - I kind of think of myself of just writing this stuff for my eyes alone.

What else am I missing?  Could I get this kind of outreach using (gulp) Facebook better?  Could I find great results from (gasp) Pinterest? 

I'm not ready for that yet!  And I greatly fear I'm not smart enough.  Fortunately, I have teenage children.  Perhaps I'll turn that over to them.

And then I'm done!

Well, that was weird.  I decided to plow through the outline on my untitled idea, more as a way to get a break from reading multiple reviews that were beginning to affect my brain.  I wasn't really looking for any great results - I was kind of forcing it, after all - and then suddenly this wealth of ideas just flooded over me and I powered through and BOOM! I was done.  Really strange.

Now, it could be that these ideas are terrible.  I'm often going off-outline when I actually write, and expounding on small ideas to have them become bigger during the writing process.  But the important thing is that the outline is done, which allows me to begin the story (if I want).

So I went over to my works and promoted that to something that is outlined.  Now I'll just work on something else for a while and advance it.

It's weird how ideas work.