Where we live, it's bitter cold most of the year. A month and a half ago, though, we had a day that was almost warm enough not to freeze to death outside, and my wife suddenly says to me "when are you going to get the hot tub cleaned up and back in service?"
Like a dutiful husband, I understood exactly what she meant: "it's time for you to clean up the hot tub and put it back in service." Which is what I did, exactly two weeks and 28 reminders later that it was "hot tub season" according to her.
Unfortunately, the jets didn't work. She was extremely bummed not to be able to use the hot tub, and I was bummed that she wouldn't be running around in a bikini, which is pretty much my only interest in the hot tub. That was about two weeks ago.
Tonight, for reasons unknown to me, a cosmic force compelled me to go treat the water today. I turned on the jets out of habit, and they came on! Suddenly the jets work! The hot tub is alive!
That means that rewriting is done for the evening. It's time to go hot tubbing. Because all work and no play makes Colin a very dull boy.
Update: I don't know where she found that frogman suit that she wore, but needless to say, I was not a fan. Perhaps next time...
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Just where I thought!
I always figured that the last quarter of Switch was ripe for reduction. Now that I'm in the back half, I find that I was correct. I just rewrote a fifteen-page chapter, and ended up cutting it to six pages. Took out a minor character, an unimportant sub-plot, another plot point I didn't really do anything with, and tightened it up to flow much better. Unfortunately, it's a stub chapter now and is bizarrely shorter than the others.
So I can either combine it with a later (or earlier) chapter, or I can leave it alone, or I can chop up some of the other chapters. Frankly, I wonder if chopping up other chapters isn't the answer, since I always wonder where to do chapter breaks.
I always do it by feel - if it feels like a break, then I do. Some chapters will cover multiple days, while others just one continuous scene. I always wonder if I have a good feel for it or not.
So I can either combine it with a later (or earlier) chapter, or I can leave it alone, or I can chop up some of the other chapters. Frankly, I wonder if chopping up other chapters isn't the answer, since I always wonder where to do chapter breaks.
I always do it by feel - if it feels like a break, then I do. Some chapters will cover multiple days, while others just one continuous scene. I always wonder if I have a good feel for it or not.
Writing is exhausting
For me it is, at least. I have a day job, and it's no cakewalk, but it's not too bad. It's not physical, either, but rather mostly mental. I'm capable of dealing with it, and then coming home and dealing with my family, and then going to bed. No big deal.
When I throw writing in there, though, I start going to bed exhausted. The constant mental focus on what word goes where, and what each character says and how they say it, and the on-point mentality needed to examine every turn of phrase and every punctuation point starts to wear me out.
Last night I was totally wiped out and slept like a log, even snoring enough that it disturbed my poor, long-suffering wife.
I guess I could down a whole bunch of energy drinks, but then the characters would start racing around and acting like hyper two-year-olds.
When I throw writing in there, though, I start going to bed exhausted. The constant mental focus on what word goes where, and what each character says and how they say it, and the on-point mentality needed to examine every turn of phrase and every punctuation point starts to wear me out.
Last night I was totally wiped out and slept like a log, even snoring enough that it disturbed my poor, long-suffering wife.
I guess I could down a whole bunch of energy drinks, but then the characters would start racing around and acting like hyper two-year-olds.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Hacking and Cutting
I'm about 2/3 of the way through my rewrite on Switch, and so far I've managed to cut about 10,000 words. Which is not a lot. But I'm into the section of the story where I knew there was some fat, because as I wrote it, I felt like I was padding here. So I'm hopeful that there are another 10,000 words remaining. Unfortunately, that's about a third of what's there, so I find it unlikely that I'll be missing anything.
I've already cut whole characters and scenes to tighten up the story. If I want to cut more out, I'll probably have to excise some plot threads. It's not easy. Writing is rewriting, though, and if I want a good story on the other side this is what I have to do.
It's unpleasant, though. Now I really know why it's called "killing your babies."
I've already cut whole characters and scenes to tighten up the story. If I want to cut more out, I'll probably have to excise some plot threads. It's not easy. Writing is rewriting, though, and if I want a good story on the other side this is what I have to do.
It's unpleasant, though. Now I really know why it's called "killing your babies."
Sunday, April 27, 2014
What makes an author?
Let the great war of publishing begin!
The sides in this fight are fairly predictable. On the one side, we have professional writers manning the walls of the gatekeepers. On the other side, we have the rampaging barbarian hordes who wish to access the treasures within.
This is fairly predictable, and parallels any of a number of other technological disruptions from the past. It's also going to be similarly experienced when 3D printing comes of age and we hear the same arguments around manufacturing and construction.
Kozlowski specifically mentions science, which is a bad analogy. The practice of "professional" science is a fairly new thing and historically you have numerous stories of amateurs who upended the prevailing theories or made discoveries. These people weren't credentialed or accepted by others, and often faced massive amounts of resistance, yet they were ultimately correct. They weren't any less correct because they didn't have the support of "professionals."
The most famous, perhaps, is Copernicus, who went against the professionals of his day with a heliocentric universe. But you have plenty of others, including some recent Nobel-prize winners in economics (Daniel Kahneman in '02 and Robert Aumann in '05) who weren't economists. The whole history of Renaissance polymaths is all about people doing things outside their field.
Always throughout history the credentialed and licensed have sought to prevent others from practicing in their field. Sometimes, society has permitted this because bitter experience has proven that we must (medicine, military, foreign affairs).
Otherwise the prevailing social impulse should always lean towards the most inclusive set of conditions possible. It is true that much of what gets produced will be dreck in this model; however, we must acknowledge that professionals can create dreck, too.
To borrow from economics, we should allow the market (whether it be readers or clothes shoppers or car buyers) to decide what, ultimately, is worth paying for and what has no value, and then the market will align itself accordingly.
The sides in this fight are fairly predictable. On the one side, we have professional writers manning the walls of the gatekeepers. On the other side, we have the rampaging barbarian hordes who wish to access the treasures within.
This is fairly predictable, and parallels any of a number of other technological disruptions from the past. It's also going to be similarly experienced when 3D printing comes of age and we hear the same arguments around manufacturing and construction.
Kozlowski specifically mentions science, which is a bad analogy. The practice of "professional" science is a fairly new thing and historically you have numerous stories of amateurs who upended the prevailing theories or made discoveries. These people weren't credentialed or accepted by others, and often faced massive amounts of resistance, yet they were ultimately correct. They weren't any less correct because they didn't have the support of "professionals."
The most famous, perhaps, is Copernicus, who went against the professionals of his day with a heliocentric universe. But you have plenty of others, including some recent Nobel-prize winners in economics (Daniel Kahneman in '02 and Robert Aumann in '05) who weren't economists. The whole history of Renaissance polymaths is all about people doing things outside their field.
Always throughout history the credentialed and licensed have sought to prevent others from practicing in their field. Sometimes, society has permitted this because bitter experience has proven that we must (medicine, military, foreign affairs).
Otherwise the prevailing social impulse should always lean towards the most inclusive set of conditions possible. It is true that much of what gets produced will be dreck in this model; however, we must acknowledge that professionals can create dreck, too.
To borrow from economics, we should allow the market (whether it be readers or clothes shoppers or car buyers) to decide what, ultimately, is worth paying for and what has no value, and then the market will align itself accordingly.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Flash Fiction
A few brief thoughts on flash fiction, mostly because I'm dodging working on Switch so that I can avoid having to make hard choices and cut my beloved story down.
I was introduced to Flash Fiction a few years ago, and when I first heard about it I got all excited because it felt like a great way to crank out stuff in short time, and if there was a market for it you could therefore just pump out a tremendous amount of work with no effort. I gave it a shot.
I am an epic failure at Flash Fiction. Turns out I can't say anything in less than about a thousand words (as this post so adequately demonstrates), and I have no skill to develop a complete story that's not nonsense that fits into 500 words or less.
This is also why my Twitter feed is all post repeats - 140 characters is right out for me. I admire anybody who can be coherent in either format. I can only do things in long-form essays or fiction, which is why Switch needs to be cut down. I have a tendency to overdevelop!
Yes, it does not escape me that I am discussing how bad I am at Flash Fiction in a post that is almost as long as a typical flash fiction story. Irony is one of my strong suits.
I was introduced to Flash Fiction a few years ago, and when I first heard about it I got all excited because it felt like a great way to crank out stuff in short time, and if there was a market for it you could therefore just pump out a tremendous amount of work with no effort. I gave it a shot.
I am an epic failure at Flash Fiction. Turns out I can't say anything in less than about a thousand words (as this post so adequately demonstrates), and I have no skill to develop a complete story that's not nonsense that fits into 500 words or less.
This is also why my Twitter feed is all post repeats - 140 characters is right out for me. I admire anybody who can be coherent in either format. I can only do things in long-form essays or fiction, which is why Switch needs to be cut down. I have a tendency to overdevelop!
Yes, it does not escape me that I am discussing how bad I am at Flash Fiction in a post that is almost as long as a typical flash fiction story. Irony is one of my strong suits.
Friday, April 25, 2014
My bad habits
The editor really helped me see some bad habits in my writing, which is great. Now I have to slog through Switch and undo them all.
Bad Habit #1: Starting on apreposition conjunction. So I like to start sentences with conjunctions. But it's not like I do it for every sentence. And I think sometimes it gives the sentence a certain flair. Of course you have to be careful not to make it a habit. Unfortunately, I have.
(Update: yeah, I know those are conjunctions and not prepositions. What can I say? It was late and I was tired and confused and forgot the words to Conjunction Junction.)
Bad Habit #2: Towards not using really anymore. I always say Towards, instead of Toward. To remove that, I'm just taking the word out when I run across it. I use really all the time, because I really like the word really, as it as a really good sense to phrases. Apparently I also am terrible at using anymore properly, and usually write any more.
Bad Habit #3: Lay vs lie vs laid vs lied. Ah, forget it. I'm just going to have everyone and everything stand up.
Bad Habit #4: The great POV switch issue. I do really good at not confusing POV in the main body of the story, but I stick in all these authorial asides that are in the wrong POV (usually second person). That needs fixed, because it's really distracting. Typically the fix is to cut it out.
Bad Habit #5: Too many parenthetical phrases (like this one) and way too many colons: they're distracting. But I love colons! Almost as much as I like starting sentences on prepositions. I'm not so sloppy that any characters talk in parenthesis - that would be too much - but I do stick them in exposition an awful lot.
There's a multitude of other, smaller, less frequent things, but I've seen a giant surplus of those issues in the first seven chapters of the story. And I never noticed them before!
See, kids, this is why we edit.
Bad Habit #1: Starting on a
(Update: yeah, I know those are conjunctions and not prepositions. What can I say? It was late and I was tired and confused and forgot the words to Conjunction Junction.)
Bad Habit #2: Towards not using really anymore. I always say Towards, instead of Toward. To remove that, I'm just taking the word out when I run across it. I use really all the time, because I really like the word really, as it as a really good sense to phrases. Apparently I also am terrible at using anymore properly, and usually write any more.
Bad Habit #3: Lay vs lie vs laid vs lied. Ah, forget it. I'm just going to have everyone and everything stand up.
Bad Habit #4: The great POV switch issue. I do really good at not confusing POV in the main body of the story, but I stick in all these authorial asides that are in the wrong POV (usually second person). That needs fixed, because it's really distracting. Typically the fix is to cut it out.
Bad Habit #5: Too many parenthetical phrases (like this one) and way too many colons: they're distracting. But I love colons! Almost as much as I like starting sentences on prepositions. I'm not so sloppy that any characters talk in parenthesis - that would be too much - but I do stick them in exposition an awful lot.
There's a multitude of other, smaller, less frequent things, but I've seen a giant surplus of those issues in the first seven chapters of the story. And I never noticed them before!
See, kids, this is why we edit.
Rewriting Insanity
I'm failing miserably at rewriting Switch to make it shorter and more focused. I had this feverish idea last night while I slept, though: instead of making it shorter, why don't I make it longer? I could write another 300,000 words, and then split it up into a trilogy! Trilogies are hot, right? Everybody loves trilogies!
It's the stupidest idea ever. I know. This is what happens when you rewrite.
It's the stupidest idea ever. I know. This is what happens when you rewrite.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Argh! New Word!
I hate the new Word. A lot.
I originally wrote Switch in the old Word, but I've upgraded my computer between then and now, so I'm rewriting it on the new Word. What should I see but suddenly that I have a mix of straight quote marks and "smart quotes," which are basically designed to slant to the left or right, depending on their orientation and how difficult it will be to eradicate them and make them correct.
I wanted to get rid of them, but I couldn't figure out how. Perhaps you're all smart enough to know that it's under File, Options, Proofing, Autocorrect, but that totally escaped me. I punched F1, which should be help, but of course I got the Microsoft Help system, not the Word Help system, which I had to go find under the main header again.
Meaning that the entire system is now less useful than it was before, not more useful. I'm not going to lie - some of this is just that I hate change. A lot more of it is that these wonks who keep changing everything obviously have never used the products they're trying to jam down our throats!
Okay, I'm done ranting about this now. Back to the rewrite. I need to cut 20% of the story, and now that I'm through about 1/5th of it, I've cut...about 3%. Ugh. I'm going to need to get a bigger scalpel.
I originally wrote Switch in the old Word, but I've upgraded my computer between then and now, so I'm rewriting it on the new Word. What should I see but suddenly that I have a mix of straight quote marks and "smart quotes," which are basically designed to slant to the left or right, depending on their orientation and how difficult it will be to eradicate them and make them correct.
I wanted to get rid of them, but I couldn't figure out how. Perhaps you're all smart enough to know that it's under File, Options, Proofing, Autocorrect, but that totally escaped me. I punched F1, which should be help, but of course I got the Microsoft Help system, not the Word Help system, which I had to go find under the main header again.
Meaning that the entire system is now less useful than it was before, not more useful. I'm not going to lie - some of this is just that I hate change. A lot more of it is that these wonks who keep changing everything obviously have never used the products they're trying to jam down our throats!
Okay, I'm done ranting about this now. Back to the rewrite. I need to cut 20% of the story, and now that I'm through about 1/5th of it, I've cut...about 3%. Ugh. I'm going to need to get a bigger scalpel.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
The Unkindest Cut
I've gone through the first pass of editing now, taking out over-used words and inserting stuff and taking care of the easy, grammatical, CTRL-H stuff that you can do by rote. There was a lot of it, but it's all cleaned up. Now we get to the hard part of rewriting: cutting.
Not a little, either. A lot, if I want to get it into the right word range, like maybe 20% of it. That's not such an easy thing to do. I need to do that without compromising the story, either, and without throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I can definitely see the need for it, thought, so now it's just a matter of finding which parts are fat enough that they can be taken out without jeopardizing the story.
Not a little, either. A lot, if I want to get it into the right word range, like maybe 20% of it. That's not such an easy thing to do. I need to do that without compromising the story, either, and without throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I can definitely see the need for it, thought, so now it's just a matter of finding which parts are fat enough that they can be taken out without jeopardizing the story.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
I got my picture!
Notice anything different? Huh? Huh? I finally got my picture! I'm a happy man, too! Now, it is true that I'm not a cartoon - although many would call me two-dimensional - but it's a fairly good representation.
The hat shown was free, and I got it on a trip to Egypt when it was 8,000,000 F and I was at the Great Pyramid. Lots of fun.
Boo-yah!
The hat shown was free, and I got it on a trip to Egypt when it was 8,000,000 F and I was at the Great Pyramid. Lots of fun.
Boo-yah!
Monday, April 21, 2014
Back to work
Switch just came back from the editor. And boy, do I have a lot of work to do!
I'm not at all surprised - I didn't send it to be edited because it was perfect, after all - so now I got to go through the joy of rewriting it for a final time. Unfortunately it needs to shrink. I'm not surprised that it needs to shrink, but that'll require significant rewriting, and killing of babies and whatnot.
It's not the end of the world, though. I can definitely rewrite it, and it will be better when I'm done than when I started. That's why we edit!
I do wish I could edit it with a potato cannon, though!
I'm not at all surprised - I didn't send it to be edited because it was perfect, after all - so now I got to go through the joy of rewriting it for a final time. Unfortunately it needs to shrink. I'm not surprised that it needs to shrink, but that'll require significant rewriting, and killing of babies and whatnot.
It's not the end of the world, though. I can definitely rewrite it, and it will be better when I'm done than when I started. That's why we edit!
I do wish I could edit it with a potato cannon, though!
Sunday, April 20, 2014
All Work and No Play
Would make Colin a dull boy. I've been working a lot on writing the last few weeks - finishing Gob Squad and outlining and other stuff. And while I wouldn't say I've been neglecting my familial obligations, it's for sure that we've not been doing as much stuff together as normal. But this is Easter Weekend (happy Easter, by the way), and I was determined to do something fun. So I asked myself: what would that be?
POTATO CANNON!
Have you ever seen one of these things? I had. And after a quick search on the internet, I was ready to build one. I love working in PVC anyways - it's my favorite medium after words - and I knew exactly where to get everything in the hardware store necessary to slap this together. Once I told my son the name of the project, I had a ready and engaged assistant to get this thing put together.
Let me tell you this: firing one of these is a blast. A whiff of hairspray, a pop from the igniter, and you get to see a spud spiraling majestically over the horizon.
I also discovered that I'm allergic to raw potatoes. I actually knew this, but I forgot it right up until my eyes swelled up and started itching after loading and firing a few spuds. Argh! It was horrible. I had to take a Benadryl, which knocked me out for the rest of the day. But it was totally worth it! And so fun that we went out shooting it both Saturday and today, along with a fireworks show just for good measure.
On the way to our adventure, I happened to be just shooting the breeze with the children, and then all of a sudden I came up with a story idea, too. So a fun adventure and some work, too. Boo-yah!
It's important to mix stuff like this together in your life - you can't just sit and try to write and imagine you'll be able to come up with anything interesting to read. You gotta go live a little.
POTATO CANNON!
Have you ever seen one of these things? I had. And after a quick search on the internet, I was ready to build one. I love working in PVC anyways - it's my favorite medium after words - and I knew exactly where to get everything in the hardware store necessary to slap this together. Once I told my son the name of the project, I had a ready and engaged assistant to get this thing put together.
Let me tell you this: firing one of these is a blast. A whiff of hairspray, a pop from the igniter, and you get to see a spud spiraling majestically over the horizon.
I also discovered that I'm allergic to raw potatoes. I actually knew this, but I forgot it right up until my eyes swelled up and started itching after loading and firing a few spuds. Argh! It was horrible. I had to take a Benadryl, which knocked me out for the rest of the day. But it was totally worth it! And so fun that we went out shooting it both Saturday and today, along with a fireworks show just for good measure.
On the way to our adventure, I happened to be just shooting the breeze with the children, and then all of a sudden I came up with a story idea, too. So a fun adventure and some work, too. Boo-yah!
It's important to mix stuff like this together in your life - you can't just sit and try to write and imagine you'll be able to come up with anything interesting to read. You gotta go live a little.
Fanboy Ahead
I am the biggest Godzilla fan ever. I love Godzilla. He's the bomb. I'm such a Godzilla fan boy I have the Blue Oyster Cult song as my ring tone, and Godzilla's roar as my text tone. I don't have any tattoos, but if I did, it would totally be Godzilla holding a train:
Having said all that, I'm terrified of the upcoming Godzilla movie. The most disappointing moment of my life remains the dreadful 1998 Roland Emmerich movie (the one with Matthew Broderick). I'd been working for 28 days straight on night shift, and when I finally got a day off, my wife said "what do you want to do?" "I want to go see Godzilla!" I said. Boy, was that a bad call. That has to be the worst Godzilla movie I've ever seen, and I've seen every rubber-suited entry in the genre.
This one looks good, though. Really good. Back to the roots of Godzilla as an engine of pure destruction, a colossal force that barely notices that it destroyed you, a scale of power unimaginably beyond your fathoming. Godzilla notices you like you notice ants: if it happens, something bad is about to occur.
We'll see, though. I just hope I don't walk away disappointed again.
Having said all that, I'm terrified of the upcoming Godzilla movie. The most disappointing moment of my life remains the dreadful 1998 Roland Emmerich movie (the one with Matthew Broderick). I'd been working for 28 days straight on night shift, and when I finally got a day off, my wife said "what do you want to do?" "I want to go see Godzilla!" I said. Boy, was that a bad call. That has to be the worst Godzilla movie I've ever seen, and I've seen every rubber-suited entry in the genre.
This one looks good, though. Really good. Back to the roots of Godzilla as an engine of pure destruction, a colossal force that barely notices that it destroyed you, a scale of power unimaginably beyond your fathoming. Godzilla notices you like you notice ants: if it happens, something bad is about to occur.
We'll see, though. I just hope I don't walk away disappointed again.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Twitter: it does a blogger good
Okay, so Twitter (which scared me) is amazing. And I feel guilty about it, too, like I'm not even really trying. I hooked up a Twitter account, and then through the magic of IFTTT (which seems like it outta be illegal) I synced Twitter up with my blog. So all I do is just Tweet out every blog post.
And yet, inexplicably, I've picked up followers. Which is quite humbling, and which I very much appreciate - I kind of think of myself of just writing this stuff for my eyes alone.
What else am I missing? Could I get this kind of outreach using (gulp) Facebook better? Could I find great results from (gasp) Pinterest?
I'm not ready for that yet! And I greatly fear I'm not smart enough. Fortunately, I have teenage children. Perhaps I'll turn that over to them.
And yet, inexplicably, I've picked up followers. Which is quite humbling, and which I very much appreciate - I kind of think of myself of just writing this stuff for my eyes alone.
What else am I missing? Could I get this kind of outreach using (gulp) Facebook better? Could I find great results from (gasp) Pinterest?
I'm not ready for that yet! And I greatly fear I'm not smart enough. Fortunately, I have teenage children. Perhaps I'll turn that over to them.
And then I'm done!
Well, that was weird. I decided to plow through the outline on my untitled idea, more as a way to get a break from reading multiple reviews that were beginning to affect my brain. I wasn't really looking for any great results - I was kind of forcing it, after all - and then suddenly this wealth of ideas just flooded over me and I powered through and BOOM! I was done. Really strange.
Now, it could be that these ideas are terrible. I'm often going off-outline when I actually write, and expounding on small ideas to have them become bigger during the writing process. But the important thing is that the outline is done, which allows me to begin the story (if I want).
So I went over to my works and promoted that to something that is outlined. Now I'll just work on something else for a while and advance it.
It's weird how ideas work.
Now, it could be that these ideas are terrible. I'm often going off-outline when I actually write, and expounding on small ideas to have them become bigger during the writing process. But the important thing is that the outline is done, which allows me to begin the story (if I want).
So I went over to my works and promoted that to something that is outlined. Now I'll just work on something else for a while and advance it.
It's weird how ideas work.
Friday, April 18, 2014
I Feel Like Zigging
There's something unhealthy about a writer doing nothing but reading book review blog after book review blog. Not because of the blogs themselves, but because you read book review after book review after book review, and your brain begins to...change.
I'm pretty much convinced now that every single book needs to be part of a three-book series that centers around paranormal dystopian teen romance, and deals with very difficult issues like substance abuse or self-harm, and has a shirtless male protagonist with smoldering eyes and rock-hard abs.
I don't have anything against those books, but I don't have one in me, either (that I know of). But I'm finding myself having to whisper in my own ear that it's okay that I'm envisioning a story centering around a series of goofy calamities exploited for maximum comedic value.
I think I'm gonna take a break and try to do some outlining. I just hope I don't end up with sparkly vampires...
I'm pretty much convinced now that every single book needs to be part of a three-book series that centers around paranormal dystopian teen romance, and deals with very difficult issues like substance abuse or self-harm, and has a shirtless male protagonist with smoldering eyes and rock-hard abs.
I don't have anything against those books, but I don't have one in me, either (that I know of). But I'm finding myself having to whisper in my own ear that it's okay that I'm envisioning a story centering around a series of goofy calamities exploited for maximum comedic value.
I think I'm gonna take a break and try to do some outlining. I just hope I don't end up with sparkly vampires...
Genre, Genre, Genre
I read this article over on PageTrotter and started wondering: what "genre" do I prefer to write in?
It's not such an easy answer. I write whatever genre it is that pops into my head. I've written sci-fi, and fantasy, and horror, and just regular fiction. In my regular life I've written some dry, boring, instructional stuff. I've written some poetry, and I've written a very little amount of historical fiction.
I always figured every writer is like this, but maybe not. Am I weird? I just follow inspiration, because inspiration must be heeded, no matter where it takes you. So if I get this burning idea for a YA sci-fi novel, that's what I'll write. If instead it's an idea for a contemporary fantasy, then I'll write that.
It's not such an easy answer. I write whatever genre it is that pops into my head. I've written sci-fi, and fantasy, and horror, and just regular fiction. In my regular life I've written some dry, boring, instructional stuff. I've written some poetry, and I've written a very little amount of historical fiction.
I always figured every writer is like this, but maybe not. Am I weird? I just follow inspiration, because inspiration must be heeded, no matter where it takes you. So if I get this burning idea for a YA sci-fi novel, that's what I'll write. If instead it's an idea for a contemporary fantasy, then I'll write that.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
I'm kind of stupid
If you got spammed by me, I deeply apologize. No, I didn't get hacked. I am stupid.
See, I went and signed up for Goodreads. I'd been meaning to do it for ages, and following my excellent success at registering for Twitter, and becoming a Twit, I was all full of "I can do anything!" So I jumped over onto Goodreads to sign up for it, because anybody who is anybody is on Goodreads.
Unfortunately, there was this whole confusing sign-up thing, where it said "Spam all your gmail contacts to let them know you're on Goodreads?" And I apparently clicked yes. So I really, truly, deeply apologize if I spammed you. I assure you that I did not at all mean to.
As an act of penitence, I went and worked on Facebook for a while, which pretty much reminded me that I'm a total idiot with this stuff. Der.
See, I went and signed up for Goodreads. I'd been meaning to do it for ages, and following my excellent success at registering for Twitter, and becoming a Twit, I was all full of "I can do anything!" So I jumped over onto Goodreads to sign up for it, because anybody who is anybody is on Goodreads.
Unfortunately, there was this whole confusing sign-up thing, where it said "Spam all your gmail contacts to let them know you're on Goodreads?" And I apparently clicked yes. So I really, truly, deeply apologize if I spammed you. I assure you that I did not at all mean to.
As an act of penitence, I went and worked on Facebook for a while, which pretty much reminded me that I'm a total idiot with this stuff. Der.
The more I search...
The better I feel. The book world on the Internet is ENORMOUS. I could spend 6 hours a day going through sites, and never reach the end in a year. It's a little bit staggering just how large it really is. I'm ceaselessly amazed at how many reviewers, readers, and discussers there are.
When I first started this out, it got depressing for a while - so many sites that are dead, so many not interested in the type of book, or indie authors, or only wanting post-apocalyptic vampire romances. And I started to understand the frustration and anxiety that attacks so many authors.
Many hours of searching and reading blogs later, though, I feel a lot better. Yes, there are a lot of false leads and sites not interested in you (whoever you are). But there are also lots who are perfect for you! The book world is HUGE. You just have to have diligence and patience and put lots of effort into finding those people.
And their blogs are really interesting, too. I love the individual voices and the different takes on things and how you can see two book reviews that are totally different - and both might like it, but pick up on something completely different in the story.
At any rate, I feel better just knowing the potential community (and therefore potential customers who might enjoy my writing) is large, and perhaps even reachable.
Never forget that effort is often a suitable substitute for both skill and luck.
When I first started this out, it got depressing for a while - so many sites that are dead, so many not interested in the type of book, or indie authors, or only wanting post-apocalyptic vampire romances. And I started to understand the frustration and anxiety that attacks so many authors.
Many hours of searching and reading blogs later, though, I feel a lot better. Yes, there are a lot of false leads and sites not interested in you (whoever you are). But there are also lots who are perfect for you! The book world is HUGE. You just have to have diligence and patience and put lots of effort into finding those people.
And their blogs are really interesting, too. I love the individual voices and the different takes on things and how you can see two book reviews that are totally different - and both might like it, but pick up on something completely different in the story.
At any rate, I feel better just knowing the potential community (and therefore potential customers who might enjoy my writing) is large, and perhaps even reachable.
Never forget that effort is often a suitable substitute for both skill and luck.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Face-O-Phobia
I'm afraid of Facebook. I really am. I'm much more comfortable over here on the blog putting things down than trying to be over on Facebook managing all that. It scares me. But I really need to get that sorted out so that I can use it. So perhaps, since my brain has gone silent on me, I'll go spend some time trying to customize my facebook page to make it homier. But I still haven't answered for myself what I see when I go on my page. Geez, I feel stupid.
I guess I'll go work on that for a while tonight. I need to be as comfortable over there as I am over here. And I guess I gotta get Twitter set up, too, although I've been avoiding that like the plague, because I'm even less comfortable on Twitter.
But so long as I avoid it I get a free post on my dread every few days, right?
I guess I'll go work on that for a while tonight. I need to be as comfortable over there as I am over here. And I guess I gotta get Twitter set up, too, although I've been avoiding that like the plague, because I'm even less comfortable on Twitter.
But so long as I avoid it I get a free post on my dread every few days, right?
Nothing to see here...move along
I'm just testing a new IFTTT recipe. No other content here.
Okay, maybe a little content. A guy walks into a pet store and he says "do you have any pianos?" and the pet store owner goes "no, this is a pet store!" So about an hour later, the same guy walks into the pet store, and he says to the owner "do you have any pianos?" and the guy says "No, I already told you, this is a pet store!" So about an hour later, the guy comes back, and he asks, "do you have any pianos?" and the owner goes "Listen, buddy, if you ask about pianos one more time, I'm gonna staple your fingers together!"
So an hour later, the guy comes back, and he says "do you have any staples?" and the owner goes "No." and the guy says "Good. Do you have any pianos?"
Yeah, it's not very good.
Okay, maybe a little content. A guy walks into a pet store and he says "do you have any pianos?" and the pet store owner goes "no, this is a pet store!" So about an hour later, the same guy walks into the pet store, and he says to the owner "do you have any pianos?" and the guy says "No, I already told you, this is a pet store!" So about an hour later, the guy comes back, and he asks, "do you have any pianos?" and the owner goes "Listen, buddy, if you ask about pianos one more time, I'm gonna staple your fingers together!"
So an hour later, the guy comes back, and he says "do you have any staples?" and the owner goes "No." and the guy says "Good. Do you have any pianos?"
Yeah, it's not very good.
Radio Silence
My brain totally went silent. Whatever part of it spews forth ideas and creativity has completely gone dark, leaving me with absolutely no idea where to go next. Anything I did right now would be forcing it.
But never fear! I've bent my time to other efforts, attempting to link and network to lots of other people with bookish pursuits and whatnot. And I've enjoyed reading their posts and learning about their take on books and such, and been exposed to all sorts of things that can end up on the TBR pile (see, I picked up some acronyms too!).
Plus, I've been working like a galley slave, but that's pretty much an all the time thing. I'm a workaholic. Usually I get at least some creative thought while I drive, but so far, nothing. It'll come back, though. It always does.
But never fear! I've bent my time to other efforts, attempting to link and network to lots of other people with bookish pursuits and whatnot. And I've enjoyed reading their posts and learning about their take on books and such, and been exposed to all sorts of things that can end up on the TBR pile (see, I picked up some acronyms too!).
Plus, I've been working like a galley slave, but that's pretty much an all the time thing. I'm a workaholic. Usually I get at least some creative thought while I drive, but so far, nothing. It'll come back, though. It always does.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Etsy
By the way, in my struggle to find an artist, I staggered across Etsy, a sort of internet craft fair. It had all sorts of various and sundry artisans selling their wares on there, from art to knitting to quilts to whatever. I'm sure that everybody knows this (but did you know that cavemen don't make good locksmiths?).
I had been avoiding Etsy, though, since I figured it was one of those stupid aggregate sites where they just spit back at you whatever you looked for and there's no point to ever even going there. But fortunately I stumbled across another artist, who I almost settled for, before I saw his "see my Etsy page" post on his portfolio, and then I stumbled across the perfect artist.
Just thought I'd share that. If I'm an idiot, don't tell me. I want to keep it a surprise from myself.
I had been avoiding Etsy, though, since I figured it was one of those stupid aggregate sites where they just spit back at you whatever you looked for and there's no point to ever even going there. But fortunately I stumbled across another artist, who I almost settled for, before I saw his "see my Etsy page" post on his portfolio, and then I stumbled across the perfect artist.
Just thought I'd share that. If I'm an idiot, don't tell me. I want to keep it a surprise from myself.
Long and Winding Road
After a long and exhaustive search, I finally found another cartoonist. I'm really bummed that I never could get the first one to respond to me, since I really liked the look of those. But the second one looks good, too, and I'm pretty stoked now that I'm gonna end up with a decent avatar.
Why don't I just use a picture, you ask? Because, that's why.
Dude's in England, too, so I'm totally hoping to be able to put it up tonight or tomorrow. His art style's really reminiscent of Kazu Kibuishi (who did Amulet, among other things), which is not bad. So I guess I'll be an amulet-style head. For now, at least.
So hopefully the next time you see a post by me, it'll have a face attached to it. And not one of those scary "stare at the screen for a while" batboy scream-type faces, either!
Why don't I just use a picture, you ask? Because, that's why.
Dude's in England, too, so I'm totally hoping to be able to put it up tonight or tomorrow. His art style's really reminiscent of Kazu Kibuishi (who did Amulet, among other things), which is not bad. So I guess I'll be an amulet-style head. For now, at least.
So hopefully the next time you see a post by me, it'll have a face attached to it. And not one of those scary "stare at the screen for a while" batboy scream-type faces, either!
Monday, April 14, 2014
So little time
For a long time, I've had this idea for a story. As the years have gone by, I've tinkered with the story idea and the characters and the overall arc, and fleshed out a pretty big world for the whole thing to take place in. I've written some history, and done some nation-building, and put in cultures and mythos and all kinds of things. And the story has evolved into something bigger than I ever intended it to be.
One might even call it epic, in fact.
It's gone through a lot of iterations - the main character isn't the main character any more, and a side character has become more important, and some other characters have ceased to exist, etcetera. And as I've tinkered and played with it, I come up with lots of side stories, like you do, which may or may not be fleshed out enough to ever be part of the overall world.
Last night, for the first time ever, I tried to lay out an overall dramatic arc for this grand, epic tale, something I'd never done before. And let me tell you: it's a little frightening in its scope. Tolkeinesque, even (I regret reading the Silmarillion now).
If I wrote nothing but this for the next twenty years, I might get through the whole scope of this thing. I had no idea it had grown so out of control. Apparently I've been thinking about it in all those times when my brain was on autopilot, like when I drive. There's a lot there.
Just the world-building takes hours to read!
I'm not really sure I want to devote the time to getting that all down. But by the same token, I'm not sure I want to let all that go to waste, either. But what if I tried to write it and failed at what I see in my head? What if the story is flatter than I'd like, or less interesting, or the characters not as alive and vibrant as I see them?
I guess that's just the risk. At any rate, I'll probably explore outlining what I see as the first part of this saga, and go from there. Especially since it seems determined to crowd out other ideas I have.
One might even call it epic, in fact.
It's gone through a lot of iterations - the main character isn't the main character any more, and a side character has become more important, and some other characters have ceased to exist, etcetera. And as I've tinkered and played with it, I come up with lots of side stories, like you do, which may or may not be fleshed out enough to ever be part of the overall world.
Last night, for the first time ever, I tried to lay out an overall dramatic arc for this grand, epic tale, something I'd never done before. And let me tell you: it's a little frightening in its scope. Tolkeinesque, even (I regret reading the Silmarillion now).
If I wrote nothing but this for the next twenty years, I might get through the whole scope of this thing. I had no idea it had grown so out of control. Apparently I've been thinking about it in all those times when my brain was on autopilot, like when I drive. There's a lot there.
Just the world-building takes hours to read!
I'm not really sure I want to devote the time to getting that all down. But by the same token, I'm not sure I want to let all that go to waste, either. But what if I tried to write it and failed at what I see in my head? What if the story is flatter than I'd like, or less interesting, or the characters not as alive and vibrant as I see them?
I guess that's just the risk. At any rate, I'll probably explore outlining what I see as the first part of this saga, and go from there. Especially since it seems determined to crowd out other ideas I have.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Why does my brain do this?!
I programmed my brain to work on outlining the next story. I got really happy because I made great progress on that outline. I'm chugging right along, plotting and thinking and scheming, when...WHAM!
Here comes another story.
Really? I need to get distracted with this now? It's like my creativity has ADD and just can't resist trying to think up other things to distract me with while I'm trying to focus on other stories.
It's not like I have so much done and behind me that I should be getting lots of other new ideas.
Argh!
Here comes another story.
Really? I need to get distracted with this now? It's like my creativity has ADD and just can't resist trying to think up other things to distract me with while I'm trying to focus on other stories.
It's not like I have so much done and behind me that I should be getting lots of other new ideas.
Argh!
I can't figure out Facebook. I admit it. It's just totally beyond me.
I've got this program, IFTTT, that cross-posts everything on my blog to my facebook account. But then when I go over to my facebook account, I don't see the cross-posts on my main page. I have to go to this other place, and then I can see them. But if I were some random guy, and I clicked on my facebook account, would I see them? Which one is the page that gets presented to the outside world, and which one is the page that you only see if you go looking for it?
Facebook makes my head hurt.
And I'm not even gonna get started on Pinterest and Twitter, which I am afraid of. I'm just a simple caveman...
I've got this program, IFTTT, that cross-posts everything on my blog to my facebook account. But then when I go over to my facebook account, I don't see the cross-posts on my main page. I have to go to this other place, and then I can see them. But if I were some random guy, and I clicked on my facebook account, would I see them? Which one is the page that gets presented to the outside world, and which one is the page that you only see if you go looking for it?
Facebook makes my head hurt.
And I'm not even gonna get started on Pinterest and Twitter, which I am afraid of. I'm just a simple caveman...
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Inspiration is weird
I will never understand how inspiration works. I was flipping around the internet, reading one of those stupid list sites (top 10 films that are terrible, top 15 things you didn't know about The Incredibles, that sort of thing). And there was a picture on one of the lists that I saw, that looked kind of goofy, of a metal face mask with these weird goggles on it.
And then something clicked in my brain. Despite the fact that my stomach is roiling and I feel terrible, I popped open my outline and jammed another six bullet points and advanced the story through the middle third. Wow! All from a goofy picture that I happened to see on accident. And the outline had nothing to do with the picture itself -it gave me an idea, which spurred another idea, from which I got a whole chunk of story formed in my mind.
You can't force these things. They just have to come. No wonder writers are suicidal...
And then something clicked in my brain. Despite the fact that my stomach is roiling and I feel terrible, I popped open my outline and jammed another six bullet points and advanced the story through the middle third. Wow! All from a goofy picture that I happened to see on accident. And the outline had nothing to do with the picture itself -it gave me an idea, which spurred another idea, from which I got a whole chunk of story formed in my mind.
You can't force these things. They just have to come. No wonder writers are suicidal...
Still hurting inside
It's like my whole body is falling apart now that I finished the Gob Squad. It's not like that's my magnum opus, though. This isn't Mozart's Requiem, here. It's a frigging high fantasy spoof. So why has my stomach been twisting in knots ever since I finished it? Geez!
So I haven't really made any progress, on anything, at all, or even close. But on the up side, I feel terrible and have no energy and my intestines feel like they're being tied into knots inside my body. I'm sure I can channel this into my art.
Is writing really art? I guess it is, since it's a creative endeavor. But it feels goofy to call myself an artist.
Perhaps I'll just call myself...an artiste!
So I haven't really made any progress, on anything, at all, or even close. But on the up side, I feel terrible and have no energy and my intestines feel like they're being tied into knots inside my body. I'm sure I can channel this into my art.
Is writing really art? I guess it is, since it's a creative endeavor. But it feels goofy to call myself an artist.
Perhaps I'll just call myself...an artiste!
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Portrait of a Procrastinating Artist
Computers are totally awesome for writing. You can save, archive, look things up, have a character and scene list on one side of the screen while your active stuff is on the other, and generally boost your ability to quickly carry on getting your story put together. It rocks!
On the downside, you can at any moment hop onto the internet and investigate what that flavor of ice cream is called that's chocolate with little tiny marshmallows in it (it's Rocky Road, by the way, which I always thought had nuts). Or you can go watch that cat video everybody was talking about. And as soon as you blink, your IQ dropped five points and you managed to fritter away valuable time you could have used to advance your story. And then it's time to go to bed, because you have a real job that you have to wake up for tomorrow.
Worst of all, that cat video wasn't nearly as funny as everybody said.
On the downside, you can at any moment hop onto the internet and investigate what that flavor of ice cream is called that's chocolate with little tiny marshmallows in it (it's Rocky Road, by the way, which I always thought had nuts). Or you can go watch that cat video everybody was talking about. And as soon as you blink, your IQ dropped five points and you managed to fritter away valuable time you could have used to advance your story. And then it's time to go to bed, because you have a real job that you have to wake up for tomorrow.
Worst of all, that cat video wasn't nearly as funny as everybody said.
Sick, not in a good way
I've been sick. And not in a good, feverish way, either, but in a bad, "stomach tied up in knots and general lethargy" way. What does that have to do with writing, you ask?
It's my blog and I'll put weird stuff on there when I want to.
Actually it's because I was thinking about how when I have a fever, sometimes I have my best ideas and I'll move stories forward. But with this illness, I just felt too bad to do anything except feel bad. Fevers can help sometimes - I guess the higher temperature makes my brain come up with wild ideas.
I'm outlining a story right now, and usually that means I end up with anywhere from 20 to 30 bullet points that form the main storyline. I've gotten 7 and kind of run out of steam. I know the story needs to go on from there, but I'm not sure how to proceed. I was hoping for a fever dream to sort it all out, but I got nothing. And I guess I do know the last bullet, so I technically have 8 bullet points, but I still need a whole lot more.
It's my blog and I'll put weird stuff on there when I want to.
Actually it's because I was thinking about how when I have a fever, sometimes I have my best ideas and I'll move stories forward. But with this illness, I just felt too bad to do anything except feel bad. Fevers can help sometimes - I guess the higher temperature makes my brain come up with wild ideas.
I'm outlining a story right now, and usually that means I end up with anywhere from 20 to 30 bullet points that form the main storyline. I've gotten 7 and kind of run out of steam. I know the story needs to go on from there, but I'm not sure how to proceed. I was hoping for a fever dream to sort it all out, but I got nothing. And I guess I do know the last bullet, so I technically have 8 bullet points, but I still need a whole lot more.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
A great idea...sort of
I had this great brand-building idea, and I wanted to share it with my readers. Because I care. And also because I think it's a funny story.
Here's what it was: I figured I'd go find a book that nobody had reviewed (that was free 'cause I'm cheap) and then I'd read it and write a review of it. And I'd do it a couple of times, and then eventually when I had a book out, they'd return the favor. Good idea, huh?
So the first book I got (that was free 'cause I'm cheap) didn't look too promising, but I figured I'd give it a shot. It was supposed to be some kind of high fantasy story, and it was the first one of a series. Unfortunately, it was written in orcish or some similar dialect, because it was nigh-unreadable.
Undeterred, I pulled down a second book. Two words: animal erotica. No, thank you.
Then I went to the third book. This was a modern-day sci-fi thriller featuring aliens who walk among us and have special powers. So far, so good. I got through three chapters, which meant I met three different main characters. And it was in British English, so every third word was misspelled, which is not one of my favourite things, if you know what I mean.
I still think this is a good idea, it's just clear that a lot of that unreviewed stuff is a little dicey. Or at least, my brief perusal of it seemed to indicate that it was.
I plan to keep after this, though, until I turn up a gem!
Here's what it was: I figured I'd go find a book that nobody had reviewed (that was free 'cause I'm cheap) and then I'd read it and write a review of it. And I'd do it a couple of times, and then eventually when I had a book out, they'd return the favor. Good idea, huh?
So the first book I got (that was free 'cause I'm cheap) didn't look too promising, but I figured I'd give it a shot. It was supposed to be some kind of high fantasy story, and it was the first one of a series. Unfortunately, it was written in orcish or some similar dialect, because it was nigh-unreadable.
Undeterred, I pulled down a second book. Two words: animal erotica. No, thank you.
Then I went to the third book. This was a modern-day sci-fi thriller featuring aliens who walk among us and have special powers. So far, so good. I got through three chapters, which meant I met three different main characters. And it was in British English, so every third word was misspelled, which is not one of my favourite things, if you know what I mean.
I still think this is a good idea, it's just clear that a lot of that unreviewed stuff is a little dicey. Or at least, my brief perusal of it seemed to indicate that it was.
I plan to keep after this, though, until I turn up a gem!
Monday, April 7, 2014
If you read this...
Then I'm frustrated about my cartoon avatar. Little blog secret: I sometimes schedule my posts, so that they'll arrive on a day when I'm not so sure that I'll have time to blog or not but so that something appears that I have written.
And I'm writing this frustrated because I'm two weeks old (in blog terms) and I still don't have a cartoon avatar.
"But Colin, just use a picture of yourself!"
Yeah, well, what if I'm ugly? Or fugly? Or pug-fugly? Or what if I just prefer cartoons? At any rate, I want a cartoon avatar. I don't have to be rational, do I? I'm an artist!
So if you read this, I haven't succeeded with my Plan A, and it's time to go with Plan B.
And I'm writing this frustrated because I'm two weeks old (in blog terms) and I still don't have a cartoon avatar.
"But Colin, just use a picture of yourself!"
Yeah, well, what if I'm ugly? Or fugly? Or pug-fugly? Or what if I just prefer cartoons? At any rate, I want a cartoon avatar. I don't have to be rational, do I? I'm an artist!
So if you read this, I haven't succeeded with my Plan A, and it's time to go with Plan B.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
I GOT IT!
Gob Squad is done!
At least, the first draft is done. I'm quite pleased, I have to say. I'm going to go put it aside now, and let it age for a little bit. Then I'll come back and do a second draft, where I clean up some of the characterization, internal logic issues, etcetera, and then it'll be ready for real editing.
But that's weeks away. Now I'm going to get busy doing some networking and outlining the five ideas I had while I was working on Gob Squad that wanted to crowd it out, and decide what to write next.
At some point Switch will come back, and I'll take that and re-draft it according to what the editor says, and then it'll be ready to launch (probably, depending on how much rewrite their is - if there's a lot it will need copy editing).
Oh, and I'm going to go promote Gob Squad on my "What I'm Working On" page, because it deserves it!
At least, the first draft is done. I'm quite pleased, I have to say. I'm going to go put it aside now, and let it age for a little bit. Then I'll come back and do a second draft, where I clean up some of the characterization, internal logic issues, etcetera, and then it'll be ready for real editing.
But that's weeks away. Now I'm going to get busy doing some networking and outlining the five ideas I had while I was working on Gob Squad that wanted to crowd it out, and decide what to write next.
At some point Switch will come back, and I'll take that and re-draft it according to what the editor says, and then it'll be ready to launch (probably, depending on how much rewrite their is - if there's a lot it will need copy editing).
Oh, and I'm going to go promote Gob Squad on my "What I'm Working On" page, because it deserves it!
How important is an ending?
Really? I mean, how important is it to have an ending to a story? I've been staring at Gob Squad, going nowhere, and I've managed to get about three sentences. How about if I just end it with "you can figure what happens from here, right?"
Argh!
65,000 words, and I only need about 2,000 more, and I'll be darned if I have any idea of what they are. Focus, focus, focus.
Argh!
65,000 words, and I only need about 2,000 more, and I'll be darned if I have any idea of what they are. Focus, focus, focus.
I Hope They Win!
Here's another seamy little underbelly that's become more and more apparent as I have been researching: it appears that there's a lot of writer-on-writer nastiness.
I don't get it, personally. I hope that every writer, whether it's an independent or a big-time name, is successful and sells lots of books and has lots of readers and reaches out to millions of people. Every single one of them!
Because for me, my competitors aren't other authors. Whenever somebody reads a book and enjoys it, it makes them want to read another book. And you know who has another book out there? This guy! So every time an author sells a book to a reader, and then they go push it on their friends and create more readers, that means I have another potential sale to make.
So I'm not worried about other authors.
I'm worried about TV, which is always lurking out there as the bastion of least effort, ready to dull the mind with hours and hours of brain-numbing programming centered around fart jokes and sleazy cop lawyers who have affairs with plastic surgeons while chasing dragon-riding vampires (judging from my brief survey of the TV guide).
Don't get me wrong - I watch TV, and am partial to game shows, and I know that they take a lot of effort to write and produce and act in - I just think that's the author's competitor. Almost nobody ever watched an episode of She's the Sheriff and then said to themselves "I want to read a book!"
For me, TV is the writer's competitor. Not so much movies, which often come from books, and are discrete events. But TV, that comes in neat serialized packages that can eat up hours at a time with a bazillion different flavors - that's the competitor.
I hope all other authors are successful in their endeavors. I mean, I hope they mention me, too, and get me readers; I'm not a saint, here. But I wish them well, not ill.
I don't get it, personally. I hope that every writer, whether it's an independent or a big-time name, is successful and sells lots of books and has lots of readers and reaches out to millions of people. Every single one of them!
Because for me, my competitors aren't other authors. Whenever somebody reads a book and enjoys it, it makes them want to read another book. And you know who has another book out there? This guy! So every time an author sells a book to a reader, and then they go push it on their friends and create more readers, that means I have another potential sale to make.
So I'm not worried about other authors.
I'm worried about TV, which is always lurking out there as the bastion of least effort, ready to dull the mind with hours and hours of brain-numbing programming centered around fart jokes and sleazy cop lawyers who have affairs with plastic surgeons while chasing dragon-riding vampires (judging from my brief survey of the TV guide).
Don't get me wrong - I watch TV, and am partial to game shows, and I know that they take a lot of effort to write and produce and act in - I just think that's the author's competitor. Almost nobody ever watched an episode of She's the Sheriff and then said to themselves "I want to read a book!"
For me, TV is the writer's competitor. Not so much movies, which often come from books, and are discrete events. But TV, that comes in neat serialized packages that can eat up hours at a time with a bazillion different flavors - that's the competitor.
I hope all other authors are successful in their endeavors. I mean, I hope they mention me, too, and get me readers; I'm not a saint, here. But I wish them well, not ill.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Two Random Unrelated Thoughts
Consarn it, I'm stuck! I have only to write the final scene in Gob Squad - the denouement - and yet I can't push it through. I know how it ends, I know what happens, I know where it goes, but I'm stuck in the middle of the ending (if that makes any sense). Two nights in a row I sat down to write it, and two nights in a row I come away empty. Argh!
Secondly, it appears that people are actually visiting the blog. I apologize for its shabby condition. So far no comments - either res ipsa loquitur, or these people are arriving on accident.
To encourage comments, maybe I should offer the first commenter a prize. Um, a custom e-mail? A response of a response? Not sure. Are comments turned on? I thought so. Maybe I should turn off the spam filter so that I'll at least get those fake Viagra pill comments, or the work-from-home lady, or maybe even a Nigerian prince who needs to repatriate millions of dollars.
Secondly, it appears that people are actually visiting the blog. I apologize for its shabby condition. So far no comments - either res ipsa loquitur, or these people are arriving on accident.
To encourage comments, maybe I should offer the first commenter a prize. Um, a custom e-mail? A response of a response? Not sure. Are comments turned on? I thought so. Maybe I should turn off the spam filter so that I'll at least get those fake Viagra pill comments, or the work-from-home lady, or maybe even a Nigerian prince who needs to repatriate millions of dollars.
Open wallet, insert foot
Whew! Searching for reviewers is exhausting, bewildering, and terrifying all at the same time.
Let me get this out of the way first: I really don't think you ought to be paying for a review. So Blue Ink, Kirkus, PW, etc. all get tossed right out the gate. Yes, there are arguments to be made that you should pay for reviews. But most of them come from people who wish to be paid for reviews.
But it's also pretty clear that getting a review is tough. Unless you've written a super-popular bestseller final book of a trilogy (I'm looking at you, Divergent), in which case, everybody will review it. If you want to succeed as an author, though, that really ought not dissuade you.
I read a great article on 21 reasons to self publish, which I really needed to buck up my spirits. Great stuff, great information, and two things really resonated with me: the need to be a professional, and the whole thing about team publishing.
That's exactly why Switch is with an editor, and it's exactly why I hired somebody else to do the cover, and it's exactly why I'm searching for a cartoon avatar (which is not going well) and it's exactly why I'm searching for somebody to do web banner design so I'm not crutching off of the most basic, bland web page ever. What you can't do, you go hire.
Nobody'd go fix their engine or rewire their house unless they had those skills; why would you suddenly think that you should do those kind of things on your book?
Let me get this out of the way first: I really don't think you ought to be paying for a review. So Blue Ink, Kirkus, PW, etc. all get tossed right out the gate. Yes, there are arguments to be made that you should pay for reviews. But most of them come from people who wish to be paid for reviews.
But it's also pretty clear that getting a review is tough. Unless you've written a super-popular bestseller final book of a trilogy (I'm looking at you, Divergent), in which case, everybody will review it. If you want to succeed as an author, though, that really ought not dissuade you.
I read a great article on 21 reasons to self publish, which I really needed to buck up my spirits. Great stuff, great information, and two things really resonated with me: the need to be a professional, and the whole thing about team publishing.
That's exactly why Switch is with an editor, and it's exactly why I hired somebody else to do the cover, and it's exactly why I'm searching for a cartoon avatar (which is not going well) and it's exactly why I'm searching for somebody to do web banner design so I'm not crutching off of the most basic, bland web page ever. What you can't do, you go hire.
Nobody'd go fix their engine or rewire their house unless they had those skills; why would you suddenly think that you should do those kind of things on your book?
Approval?
So I got to thinking of about publishing vs. independent, and it occurred to me that another reason to go through a publisher is to get approval. After all, if a publisher picks your book, it's a sign of approval, right? And even if you don't sell any copies, and even if nobody reads your book, the fact that the publisher accepted you is a psychological boost that means you're good and is a sign of approval, right?
I think that probably plays into it. Then again, I could be totally wrong.
I think that probably plays into it. Then again, I could be totally wrong.
Friday, April 4, 2014
IFTT Success!
It sure looked like that worked, and automatically, too. Hooray!
Only...I don't use Facebook, and it is a little confusing for me. Did it go to the right place? Are there other places it should go? I've heard people talk about "their wall." Did I send it to the wall? Or somewhere else? Should I start another facebook page and then go to my first page to see what it looks like?
Argh! This is really hard, and I'm tired. Enough of that for now.
By the way, here's where IFTT is.
Only...I don't use Facebook, and it is a little confusing for me. Did it go to the right place? Are there other places it should go? I've heard people talk about "their wall." Did I send it to the wall? Or somewhere else? Should I start another facebook page and then go to my first page to see what it looks like?
Argh! This is really hard, and I'm tired. Enough of that for now.
By the way, here's where IFTT is.
First attempt at using IFTT
I've been messing around trying to get an automatic hookup between Blogger and my Facebook page, and supposedly this new IFTT site has done it.
Lemme go look at Facebook and see if it's successful...
Lemme go look at Facebook and see if it's successful...
Tempus Fugit
Wow, time flies. I had no idea that it had been two weeks since I started doing this blog, and yet here it is, two weeks! Yikes. I had thought it was only like a week. But time stamps don't lie.
I'm pretty close to the end on Gob Squad - maybe two chapters? I'm finding it hard going, but I'll get it finished eventually.
I've probably looked at a hundred book reviewer blogs - only 99,900 left to go! Seriously, there are a lot of them. And it's depressing to see how many of them bear the signs of having been harassed by indie authors, which is painful to think of. Spamming these guys doesn't help you get notoriety!
It's also depressing to see how many of them have authors submitting books in the comments of the review policy page, just below where it says "send an email and don't put it in my comments."
Yikes! I guess they're called writers and not readers for a reason...
I'm pretty close to the end on Gob Squad - maybe two chapters? I'm finding it hard going, but I'll get it finished eventually.
I've probably looked at a hundred book reviewer blogs - only 99,900 left to go! Seriously, there are a lot of them. And it's depressing to see how many of them bear the signs of having been harassed by indie authors, which is painful to think of. Spamming these guys doesn't help you get notoriety!
It's also depressing to see how many of them have authors submitting books in the comments of the review policy page, just below where it says "send an email and don't put it in my comments."
Yikes! I guess they're called writers and not readers for a reason...
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Why Independent?
Why independent publish? I keep asking myself that. And to be sure, I'm not certain I have the right answer, or if there is a right answer. But here's the two things I keep circling back to in my mind:
The workload after publishing seems the same.
The entire point of publishers is to take a book, prepare it for the mass market, and then publicize and distribute it. Only, more and more that model doesn't quite seem to be what they do. They certainly get it ready for the mass market (which entails a certain amount of homogenization: if sparkly vampire sells, they want sparkly vampires), including editing and getting a cover and printing and whatnot.
But then I keep seeing that more and more publishers want authors who are "able to self-promote" and who "understand the value of social media." So basically, they want the author to do the heavy lifting of pushing the book out there and generating sales. I understand why the author would want this, too: after all, they have the most vested interest in selling the book.
Sounds like as an author, the only thing you really gain from the publisher is the printing press, less decision-making authority in your story and your cover, and some platform and cachet from being attached to a publisher. I'm not knocking those things; I'm just saying that the deal so far doesn't seem like it's strongly tilted in the publisher's favor (since your workload is largely the same before and after publication; it's only in the middle that it's any different).
Which brings us to the:
Numbers
I like numbers. I'm a numbers guy. And the numbers certainly don't scream "good deal!" to go with a traditional publisher. Here's what I mean:
Publisher: Let's say that you get a 15% royalty (which is really good) on every copy sold. But publishers almost always make you have an agent, and we'll say that person costs you 15% commission. We're going to ignore any other fees you might incur (like a lawyer to make sure the publisher didn't screw you out of every other right to the work or whatnot), and focus on those two, who seem to come in tandem. So for every copy you sell, you will get 12.75% of the sales price. Let's say that the publisher prices your book at 6.99; you'll get a hefty $0.89 for every sale.
Independent: You get between 75% and 85% of the price of the book for every sale that you make, depending on where you publish the book. But you'll have to pay for a lot of things yourself; let's just use a round $2000 for the amount you spent getting editors, covers, blog tours, etc; that's maybe high (you could do it cheaper) but it's not unreasonable. You can also set the price yourself. Let's say you target 3.99, because you think that's the perfect price for the book. If you average 80% royalty on that work, you pocket $3.19 per copy. But, until you sell 627 copies, your book has cost you money.
The money looks like this:
500 copies sold: Published gets $405, Indy lost $405
1000 copies: Published gets $890, Indy gets $1,190
5000 copies: Published gets $4,450, Indy gets $13,950
10,000 copies: Published gets $8,900, Indy gets $29,900
Okay, okay, 10,000 copies is a pipe dream, right? Well, as an independent, you need to sell those first 627 copies to break even, and then after that for every copy you sell, you earn the same as 3.5 copies of the traditionally published author. Note that the traditionally published author still hasn't banked as much as the indy guy with half as many sales.
For, essentially, the same amount of work (remember, publishers want authors who know the value of social media: i.e. are willing to work as their own publicist).
I'm not bad-mouthing the publisher: he's got to cover his own costs. And you probably will get much more sales out of the gate as a traditionally published author - being in a gajillion bookstores has its benefits, after all. But to blithely assume that it will for sure be 3.5:1, when you the author have to do the same amount of work brand-building and hustling on social networks - I'm not so sure that's a given.
So I keep coming back to this: if I have to do the same amount of work writing a great story and getting it in front of people, why not hire the intermediate guys myself and reap the whole reward myself? Why not at least try?
The workload after publishing seems the same.
The entire point of publishers is to take a book, prepare it for the mass market, and then publicize and distribute it. Only, more and more that model doesn't quite seem to be what they do. They certainly get it ready for the mass market (which entails a certain amount of homogenization: if sparkly vampire sells, they want sparkly vampires), including editing and getting a cover and printing and whatnot.
But then I keep seeing that more and more publishers want authors who are "able to self-promote" and who "understand the value of social media." So basically, they want the author to do the heavy lifting of pushing the book out there and generating sales. I understand why the author would want this, too: after all, they have the most vested interest in selling the book.
Sounds like as an author, the only thing you really gain from the publisher is the printing press, less decision-making authority in your story and your cover, and some platform and cachet from being attached to a publisher. I'm not knocking those things; I'm just saying that the deal so far doesn't seem like it's strongly tilted in the publisher's favor (since your workload is largely the same before and after publication; it's only in the middle that it's any different).
Which brings us to the:
Numbers
I like numbers. I'm a numbers guy. And the numbers certainly don't scream "good deal!" to go with a traditional publisher. Here's what I mean:
Publisher: Let's say that you get a 15% royalty (which is really good) on every copy sold. But publishers almost always make you have an agent, and we'll say that person costs you 15% commission. We're going to ignore any other fees you might incur (like a lawyer to make sure the publisher didn't screw you out of every other right to the work or whatnot), and focus on those two, who seem to come in tandem. So for every copy you sell, you will get 12.75% of the sales price. Let's say that the publisher prices your book at 6.99; you'll get a hefty $0.89 for every sale.
Independent: You get between 75% and 85% of the price of the book for every sale that you make, depending on where you publish the book. But you'll have to pay for a lot of things yourself; let's just use a round $2000 for the amount you spent getting editors, covers, blog tours, etc; that's maybe high (you could do it cheaper) but it's not unreasonable. You can also set the price yourself. Let's say you target 3.99, because you think that's the perfect price for the book. If you average 80% royalty on that work, you pocket $3.19 per copy. But, until you sell 627 copies, your book has cost you money.
The money looks like this:
500 copies sold: Published gets $405, Indy lost $405
1000 copies: Published gets $890, Indy gets $1,190
5000 copies: Published gets $4,450, Indy gets $13,950
10,000 copies: Published gets $8,900, Indy gets $29,900
Okay, okay, 10,000 copies is a pipe dream, right? Well, as an independent, you need to sell those first 627 copies to break even, and then after that for every copy you sell, you earn the same as 3.5 copies of the traditionally published author. Note that the traditionally published author still hasn't banked as much as the indy guy with half as many sales.
For, essentially, the same amount of work (remember, publishers want authors who know the value of social media: i.e. are willing to work as their own publicist).
I'm not bad-mouthing the publisher: he's got to cover his own costs. And you probably will get much more sales out of the gate as a traditionally published author - being in a gajillion bookstores has its benefits, after all. But to blithely assume that it will for sure be 3.5:1, when you the author have to do the same amount of work brand-building and hustling on social networks - I'm not so sure that's a given.
So I keep coming back to this: if I have to do the same amount of work writing a great story and getting it in front of people, why not hire the intermediate guys myself and reap the whole reward myself? Why not at least try?
Research, research, and research...repeat
One element of brand-building is to begin to develop relationships with reviewers, who you will eventually want to review your book and help give you some exposure, which will hopefully lead to sales, which will hopefully lead to more reviews.
Good news: there are thousands of reviewers, each with a varying number of followers(from 5 to 50,000). That's millions of readers, right there; you don't need them all, you only need some of them to get you a huge following in fairly short order. You can usually find their sites aggregated in various places on the Internet, which makes it easy to reach them. Even better, they have a blog roll which links to reviewers kind of like them!
Bad news: you're not the first hopeful author to approach the reviewers. There have been thousands who came before you, and unfortunately, it's pretty clear after perusing the reviewer policies that those authors just didn't pay attention (or their publicist didn't, which bemuses me: I want a publicist!).
Almost every review site has a policy page somewhere that tells you what they will and won't read, and a frustrating note from the reviewer that failure to follow that will lead to you being ignored I can only imagine how many dozens of wrong queries they get in a day.
And then the reviewer's also usually got a note mentioning they don't want to read in-progress stuff, and they want it to be "professional", which is code for "have somebody run it through spell check at least, would you?"
I can only imagine how many half-finished cat-centered space erotica these poor people must be exposed to in their day-to-day lives.
And then you have to be sure that the reviewer is open to reviewing the type of published work you have (either indie or traditional).
If all that is true, you can begin trying to build a working relationship with them so that you can eventually hope to have your book reviewed by them.
But don't lose hope! Remember that it's a numbers game: there are thousands of reviewers who could potentially review your book (assume 5% of the 100,000 reviewers: 5,000). If you can snag even a small portion of that group (say again 5%, or now 250), and they have an audience of 10 people each, then you're talking about 2,500 potential readers that you can get your book in front of.
And that's a whole heck of a lot more than zero.
Good news: there are thousands of reviewers, each with a varying number of followers(from 5 to 50,000). That's millions of readers, right there; you don't need them all, you only need some of them to get you a huge following in fairly short order. You can usually find their sites aggregated in various places on the Internet, which makes it easy to reach them. Even better, they have a blog roll which links to reviewers kind of like them!
Bad news: you're not the first hopeful author to approach the reviewers. There have been thousands who came before you, and unfortunately, it's pretty clear after perusing the reviewer policies that those authors just didn't pay attention (or their publicist didn't, which bemuses me: I want a publicist!).
Almost every review site has a policy page somewhere that tells you what they will and won't read, and a frustrating note from the reviewer that failure to follow that will lead to you being ignored I can only imagine how many dozens of wrong queries they get in a day.
And then the reviewer's also usually got a note mentioning they don't want to read in-progress stuff, and they want it to be "professional", which is code for "have somebody run it through spell check at least, would you?"
I can only imagine how many half-finished cat-centered space erotica these poor people must be exposed to in their day-to-day lives.
And then you have to be sure that the reviewer is open to reviewing the type of published work you have (either indie or traditional).
If all that is true, you can begin trying to build a working relationship with them so that you can eventually hope to have your book reviewed by them.
But don't lose hope! Remember that it's a numbers game: there are thousands of reviewers who could potentially review your book (assume 5% of the 100,000 reviewers: 5,000). If you can snag even a small portion of that group (say again 5%, or now 250), and they have an audience of 10 people each, then you're talking about 2,500 potential readers that you can get your book in front of.
And that's a whole heck of a lot more than zero.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Fighting Distraction
In the post yesterday I mentioned that once Gob Squad is done (which it's not) I'll put it away and then do some outlining and fleshing out of other works. One thing I struggle with is that ideas are pretty continuous, and they will often seem freshest and most original when I'm in the middle of something else. For instance, I had the idea for Gob Squad in the middle of Switch, which is a YA Sci-Fi novel. Other than both being in English, they have nothing else in common.
This happens to me all the time - I'll be writing one thing, and some other idea pops up so clear and important that it starts to crowd out my mental space and makes it hard to bear down and finish the first thing I was working on. But nobody wants to read half-written books!
Okay, some people read half-written Tolkein, but that's like already 243,000 words. I mean half-written works by people like me.
At any rate, I wonder if other writers struggle with that problem? I get the impression mental blocks - where nothing at all will come - are far more common. Fortunately I never suffer from that. I might have problems with idea quality, but never quantity!
This happens to me all the time - I'll be writing one thing, and some other idea pops up so clear and important that it starts to crowd out my mental space and makes it hard to bear down and finish the first thing I was working on. But nobody wants to read half-written books!
Okay, some people read half-written Tolkein, but that's like already 243,000 words. I mean half-written works by people like me.
At any rate, I wonder if other writers struggle with that problem? I get the impression mental blocks - where nothing at all will come - are far more common. Fortunately I never suffer from that. I might have problems with idea quality, but never quantity!
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Nearing the end...for now
I'm nearing the end of Gob Squad. Or at least, I'm nearing the end of the first draft. And it's a weird story, too, since I wrote half, left it sit for a while (over a year), came back, polished the first half, and then wrote the second half. So it needs a pretty thorough rewrite for continuity.
The whole thing started out as a dark, gritty fantasy novel. But once I started writing it, somehow these funny bits kept popping into my mind, which I worked into the story. And lo and behold, it became a comedic work. And then since that wasn't enough, it started to turn itself into kind of a satire of high fantasy (which I thoroughly enjoy).
So now it's gone from dark fantasy to humorous (I hope) satire. I'm not sure it works - satire is hard to write - but I'm nearing the end of it. That's the point at which I put it away for a few weeks, outline some other stuff, and then pull it back out and rewrite it.
I guesstimate that I have about 5k words left, maybe less, before it's all finished and done. But we'll see. Perhaps there's more adventure left there than I think!
The whole thing started out as a dark, gritty fantasy novel. But once I started writing it, somehow these funny bits kept popping into my mind, which I worked into the story. And lo and behold, it became a comedic work. And then since that wasn't enough, it started to turn itself into kind of a satire of high fantasy (which I thoroughly enjoy).
So now it's gone from dark fantasy to humorous (I hope) satire. I'm not sure it works - satire is hard to write - but I'm nearing the end of it. That's the point at which I put it away for a few weeks, outline some other stuff, and then pull it back out and rewrite it.
I guesstimate that I have about 5k words left, maybe less, before it's all finished and done. But we'll see. Perhaps there's more adventure left there than I think!
Jammed out a bunch of prose
One of the weird things about writing (or about any creative endeavor, I suppose) is how non-forceable it is. I just jammed out about 5,000 words - which is a lot - including a minor character and plot twist that I never intended but which fits into the story perfectly. It's a well-encapsulated scene which helps move the story along just the way I want. And I didn't really plan any of it. It just kind of...happened.
Kind of like how an artist can just suddenly throw out a great painting, or all of the sudden an ad guy can come up with the perfect slogan. It's just there all of the sudden.
Now see, a non-creative endeavor is totally different. I needed to do our taxes, and I'd been putting it off. But that's a forceable action: all I needed to do was sit down with the paperwork and TurboTax, and then get them done. And sure enough, a couple of hours later - boom. It's done. All I needed to do was force myself to do it.
If I sit down to force myself to write, though. I end up with nothing. Or worse than nothing: forced product, which is never as good. It's strange.
And it's strange how other things affect it, too. TV may or may not impact my ability to write. Music may or may not impact my ability to write, or what I write. Location may or may not impact my ability to write. There's no one method to churning out good prose (note: if you think all my prose sucks, don't tell me).
I'm just blathering, though. Really I'm just happy to have moved closer to the end of Gob Squad.
Kind of like how an artist can just suddenly throw out a great painting, or all of the sudden an ad guy can come up with the perfect slogan. It's just there all of the sudden.
Now see, a non-creative endeavor is totally different. I needed to do our taxes, and I'd been putting it off. But that's a forceable action: all I needed to do was sit down with the paperwork and TurboTax, and then get them done. And sure enough, a couple of hours later - boom. It's done. All I needed to do was force myself to do it.
If I sit down to force myself to write, though. I end up with nothing. Or worse than nothing: forced product, which is never as good. It's strange.
And it's strange how other things affect it, too. TV may or may not impact my ability to write. Music may or may not impact my ability to write, or what I write. Location may or may not impact my ability to write. There's no one method to churning out good prose (note: if you think all my prose sucks, don't tell me).
I'm just blathering, though. Really I'm just happy to have moved closer to the end of Gob Squad.
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